2002 Mitsubishi Lancer GLI: The Oppositelock Review

"INDYDFX- Daily FiSTer" (indydfx) 08/09/2014 at 12:59 • Filed to: OPPO review

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As my ST is currently in a stage of living and dying when it chooses to, my mother gave me a loan of her Lancer to DD for the week. Even though it's an automatic, it was a car and I was grateful to have it for the time I did.

( FULL DISCLOSURE: Mitsubishi wanted me to drive this car so bad, they built it someday in 2002. It was then used as a taxi for the blind for two years and has subsequently been with us for 10yrs.)

Appearance: 7/10- For a small sedan, it doesn't look that bad. It has an optional rear wing and alloy wheels from an '04 Lancer that suit the car pretty well. If you squint VERY hard, you can almost see an Evolution IV,V or VI there somewhere. If my mother knew how to look after cars, the thing would look great. Once everything is clean, it really looks great with the Green/Blue clearcoat and the shiny alloys.

Interior: 7.5/10- The inside of the car appears to be very well thought out for the time. The designer knew what he was doing, which can't be said for all interior designers of the time. Everything is located where it should be. The lights and wipers sticks were the wrong way around compared to the ST so that took some acclimatizing to. A premium car it isn't, but still a good place to be in for long drives. Obviously, the automatic shifter is the big letdown here. Bonus non-factory features here include the cigarette ash that litters everything, the gay butterfly seat covers and a taped-up security light because it "bothers"her.

The seats are also pretty ordinary. They're squishy, offer little to no side bolster support and it squeaks like a bus driver's seat due to the height adjustment to make sure my tiny-ass Mum can see over the wheel. My only major issue with it is that it sucks dick to be passenger in the back. I'm not the tallest guy and my head nearly hits the roof. Driving a car with metric units again was also a weird feeling too.

Acceleration: 6.5/10- I'll be blunt, it's not quick. That being said, it's not the slowest car I've driven; my mate's Cube takes that honor. Of course I am comparing them two to my DD, a Modified V6 Mondeo ST. Not many cars I can get my hands on are quicker than that (when it goes). I think it's the automatic transmission that makes it slow rather than the engine. It has a 1.8 litre 4 cylinder putting out around 115BHP, which is quite respectable. If it was manual, it would be much better as the 4sp automatic is for no other word, shit. It's clunky and sluggish and counter-intuitive to the way you think it would act. This was of course made before they worked out automatic transmissions. This pic is not Mum's car. Her engine bay looks terrible and disgusting.

Braking: 7/10- Vented discs on the front, drums on the back. It will stop pretty well, provided the pads are changed frequently. I had many a terrifying drive in this thing when I was learning to drive and the pedal would regularly almost be on the floor... Great times.

Ride:7/10- For what is a relatively low cost car, the ride isn't too bad. Once you accept the fact that you're not in an S-Class or a Phantom, you realize that it does a pretty good job at soaking up the bumps, while maintaining some degree of firmness.

Handling:8/10- After driving this, you get a sense of how good of a chassis Mitsubishi have to start off with to build the Evolution. There's just something about it that i can't put my finger on. Body roll isn't as much as you would think for a car with skinny-ass tires and cheap suspension. The steering is rather light but at the same time, you're able to point it very easy to where you want to turn. Very strange feeling, but I sorta like it. Also parking it is piss-easy when compared to the ST, which is like trying to park a semi sometimes.

Gearbox:3.5/10- Expanding upon the little bit in the engine part of the review, prepare for a tiny bit of a rant. FOUR SPEED AUTOMATICS ARE FUCKING TERRIBLE!! After experiencing the joy that a 5sp manual can bring to one's life, to be brought back to the stone age with that antiquated piece of shit was sheer misery. As I said above, it didn't know which gear it wanted. 1st? 2nd? 3rd? 4th? PICK A FUCKING GEAR AND STICK WITH IT!! Not only was the thing in a gear selection crisis, it was also massively jerky when it did decide to engage another gear. The only reason that it didn't get a zero was that it did still function, albeit incompetently, as a gearbox. I want my stickshift.

Audio:0/10- It had an AM/FM CD player when new. That died and was replaced with the same OEM unit under warranty. Fast forward 6yrs and the FM mode died. Then the central locking shit itself which is controlled by the same fuse/module as, yep, you guessed it, the stereo. So goodbye central locking/security system and stereo. On the plus side, a man can get some thinking done in there.

Toys:0/10- The only toys it had died, so none? For the sake of novelty, I like the hand crank windows. I kinda miss those. Side note: Bitches don't like 2002 cars that A) See the driver reach over to unlock the passenger door manually, B) Don't have any audio and C) Have hand crank windows. Awkward times for INDYDFX, that's for sure.

Value:7/10- When everything is in working order and properly looked after (looking at you, mum), these cars offer quite a lot of car for little money. One of these can be had for as little as $3000 AUD. That is a reasonable price for a car that will give you maximum driving pleasure with minimum propensity for financial ruin, unlike my ST. Just make sure that if you were to buy one, make sure it's the 1.8, with a stick and a working stereo. You won't regret it!

Exterior: 7/10

Interior: 7.5/10

Acceleration: 6.5/10

Braking: 7/10

Ride: 7/10

Handling: 8/10

Gearbox 3.5/10

Audio 0/10

Toys 0/10

Value 7/10

Total: 53.5/100

anothermiatafanboy > INDYDFX- Daily FiSTer 08/09/2014 at 13:20

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I'll be the first to say: no real need to refer to women in your post as bitches. We have plenty of female enthusiasts on this site, we aren't a bunch of dudes in a garage farting and peeing in the corner. Think of your mum, mate.

INDYDFX- Daily FiSTer > anothermiatafanboy 08/09/2014 at 18:51

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Plot twist: What if she was a genuine bitch towards me and the car for giving her a ride?? Also my mum would love the way I talk... She's "one of the boys".